My professional background is Engineering and I worked as an IT Solutions / Applications developer before stepping away from it altogether as I embraced the 'Homeschool lifestyle' some twelve years ago.

We had already explored public schools, private schools, islamic schools, we even made a cross country move to find the right school and community for raising our child. My son was only two years old at the time. Despite our sincere quest, we couldn't find a worthy option.

We found ourselves exploring this alternative path all by ourselves. We read books, asked questions, showed up at homeschool events, attended programs and generally equipped ourselves for this monumental task. We experimented with different curricula and started homeschooling using what can be best described as a combination of Montessori method and Classical Education. This was only the start, over the years I read, explored and drew inspiration from all kinds of ideas, methods and concepts by theorists and experts on education and child development.

This journey has been the most inspiring yet challenging, testing yet deeply fulfilling experience till date. I get amazed at the possibilities it opens up for personal growth.

Despite the many joys and fulfillment there was a lot of struggle in those initial years and unfortunately I lost a lot of time and opportunity in those precious, foundational years of my children's lives. I was too busy trying to do things that were completely unnecessary or counterproductive.

I wish I had not wasted those fleeting initial years which are so important for children's optimal growth and development. I was drowning in unnecessary stress, absorbed in an endless pursuit of 'becoming worthy or enough as an educator' , seeking approval from others and many a times from my own inner critic instead of showing up as an authentic, confident mother.

I was trying so hard to learn and do things right but much of the advice I received from books, trainings, blogs and people around me was either insufficient, irrelevant to me/my circumstances/my unique child and at times it was simply paralyzing. The work seemed monumental and complicated. (More than a decade later, I can confidently assure you that this is far from the truth. )

I did find some benefit in learning about Educational philosophies, pedagogies and learning theories. Also the works of thinkers and educators like Maria Montessori, John Holt, Charlotte Mason, and many others left a lasting impression but there was always something lacking in what was available. Especially in its relevance to me as a home educator and nothing I came across addressed a deeper problem. The conflict I faced between fulfilling the role of a mother and that of a teacher. Nothing prepared me for this.

 There was something that did help!

I wholeheartedly attribute it to a situation Allah (swt) put me in and through it Allah (swt) opened the door to a new understanding of childhood itself. What seemed like a huge test and hardship was a hidden blessing that changed everything. My son developed a stutter. He went from talking normally to a speech impediment that lasted for almost a year.

I was told that some children grow out of it and some do not. I didn't know what to do to help him grow out of it. I reached out to experts, sought professional help and speech therapy. I even reached out to the foremost expert on speech issues in the entire north east region. I had many questions and the information I was reading just didn't satisfy me. So I decided to email this researcher/author but didn't expect a reply. But he did reply.

I would send him audio clips and ask critical questions. I noticed that his advice was less prescriptive, his answers were different from the therapists and pediatricians. On a side note: Since then, I have learnt that a true expert is often non prescriptive. A true expert is intuitive, perceptive of the context, paying attention to details that live in the context rather than getting preoccupied with what they know. I always look for teachers who have this quality. 

Coming back to the story, I started to focus on the essence of all advice I was receiving especially what was coming from him. I didn't realize at the time but I was growing rapidly in my understanding of the developmental process and learning how to lean into my intuition.

I started making significant changes to our lifestyle. I took out all the busy work, running around for activities, staying productive all day and trying to follow rigid schedules. Everything from ice skating lessons, library events and activities had to be cut out. Basically, I put an end to the rushed, fast paced lifestyle and started homeschooling in a totally new way.

Our home life become a simple one with only a few basics to keep us grounded and consistent in our daily rhythm. With an intentional effort to slow down and to remove stressors, I could focus on providing nourishment and enrichment.

In the absence of endless expectations, my focus intuitively shifted to fulfilling the needs of the child in front of me. I could finally see my child. 

Our days were filled with lots and lots of free play and open ended activities. I would just finish our morning routine and show up at places that enriched us in a non restrictive way. Museum, Park, Aviary, Farm etc became our go to places. I would just watch my child play for hours, curiously moving from one activity to another. 

We started reading aloud fewer and fewer books, I focused on the quality of our interactions rather than the quantity. I could experience first hand what truly getting present with my child looked like. I also witnessed what power it holds and what it can do for my child. 

I started to live by the maxim, 'less is more'.

My greatest aha moment was when I realized that I cannot lower expectations from my child without letting go of the endless expectations I have placed upon myself. I realized that in order to get truly present with my child, I must approach motherhood from a place of rest. I need to take care of myself and work on my own fears and anxieties.

Children need our full presence more than anything else. This is their developmental need. We are never quite told that and even when we are, we don't quite know how to do that. 

When I leaned into these insights, my son blossomed. I watched him grow in ways I didn't expect. I started enjoying motherhood. I started enjoying homeschooling like never before. Everything was so much easier when I operated in this mode. 

I have been on this path for a long time and I cannot emphasize how important it is for us to let go and unlearn all that we have been conditioned to believe and hold onto. All the endless parenting and teaching advice is often shortsighted and irrelevant to our context. 

I have been observing, learning and unlearning, chasing the many questions and ideas with childlike curiosity since then.  Learning about the nature of children first hand has been eye opening, it has inspired me to explore and go deeper and see things without the knowledge bias that so often traps us and keeps us blind to the obvious. I have since been deep diving many different subjects that intersect with Developmental Sciences and Educational Psychology. It has been a beautiful journey and it is far from over. 

Back then, I noticed consistent problems which created unnecessary difficulties for me and then later on, I noticed that these were not unique to me but countless mothers had these problems lurking in the background. 

A lack of insight into the work of childhood. This is important because a child is unlike an adult and there is so much development happening in this important time period and we are really not grounded in wisdom when it comes to this. The broader popular culture does not support what is good for our children. It is as if we are at war with our deepest instincts/insights that can guide us as mothers. 

This knowledge has implications on whether or not our children reach their full potential. The reason for this is simple. Development depends on nurture as well as nature. Our children are born with certain capacities: intellectual, emotional, physical etc. But whether or not these will be realized depends on the environment they grow up in. Cultivating an enriching, nurturing environment which fosters growth and maturity is our job. 

How well a person learns also depends on their growth and development. If we are truly interested in raising children who love to learn for its own sake instead of external motivators, we must work to preserve their intrinsic motivation and facilitate growth from the inside out.  

Going back to my story, as a new home educator many concerns and questions would show up. How do I motivate my child to learn? How do I maintain order and discipline without being coercive? How do I lead as an authority while still allowing my child to lead his own learning? How do I sort through all the conflicting information in the field of education, parenting and child psychology? These were the questions I struggled with most. When I looked at the resources around me, all I could find was methods, formulas and techniques which seemed short sighted and reductionistic. Many a times these resources did not work in the context of my home/my child, at least not consistently. 

I also felt challenged with one of the most important goals I had with homeschooling which was to inspire a lifelong love of learning. Fact based knowledge or quantifiable results didn't satisfy me because I was right there observing my child and I was aware of what is happening inside of him.

As a parent I couldn't help but notice that there are other factors that matter in building a lifelong love of learning. Confidence, curiosity, initiative, courage, willingness to try hard things, willingness to make mistakes and fail, collaboration, communication, a sense of agency, an ability to stay on a task in the absence of rewards or consequences etc. Their overall growing relationship with learning mattered so much more than the 'stuff he/she is learning'. I knew I wanted to raise self directed learners but there was very little guidance on how to actually go about doing that. 

Also, How do we raise children who grow into their full human potential, beyond standard academic achievement? Success is defined differently by each parent. We knew we wanted more than what shows up on the report card.

Who they are as a person? Are they growing into compassionate, caring and responsible people? Are they able to hold their own, do they have a strong sense of purpose and a positive relationship with themselves? Are they growing in alignment with their values and morals or are they busy pretending just to fit in amongst their peers? 

With time and growing knowledge, I have come to realize that there is lot of foundational knowledge that can help parents address the root cause of many of these problems. We really have something worth pursuing in terms of knowledge and skills which can help us do so much better as home educators and mothers. Inshallah

As I started discovering some solutions and noticed how well these address problems faced by many, I felt compelled to share these with other mothers I knew. I started using the skills I had to connect and share ideas with like minded mothers through blogs, personal meetings and after much deliberation opened a social media account after 6 years of homeschooling. With tons of mistakes, lessons, reflections and a transformative experience to share. 

While I was (still I am) learning and growing each day there was this desire to help other mothers, create resources for the children and learn from other mothers as well. 

This led to several grass roots efforts like running a Homeschool Support Group from my home, start a local homeschool co op with two other mamas, take initiative and engage in multiple collaborations within the local community to put together and teach classes, hold workshops and conferences, and more recently, the first of its kind Muslim Mothers Online Homeschool Conference, and build online solutions and transformational coaching and membership programs using skills from my time in tech companies. 

Over the years, I have learnt from my mistakes and those of others and noticed a common pattern. As a natural problem solver and a former, professional Solutions Developer, I was on a quest to get to a workable solution, a process that can give consistent results, something that can serve as a solid framework that can be relied upon. With years of effort, training and testing I have created one that brings it all together to create lasting 'clarity and confidence in the mother'. A roadmap that makes parenting/homeschooling/tarbiyah  simple and easy. It has allowed me to design, create and test a multitude of programs that simplify, integrate and bring long term ease and sustainable personal/familial growth into the lives of mothers(and her entire family). Mother just like me who value and strive everyday to fulfill this tremendous amanah of raising children with utmost ehsan(excellence), who seek to learn, apply and live by the best of what is accessible to them.

This has evolved into something much bigger than I anticipated.  It has not just empowered me alhamdulillah by the mercy of Allah but has also allowed me to turn it into a process which has consistently worked with many other mothers from all over the world. 

I pursued more in depth learning, (and I am still on that path), coaching certification and many hours invested in coaching mothers professionally. 

Alhamdulillah it has helped me create an integrated, comprehensive, first of its kind framework:  'VISIONARY HOME EDUCATION' and with it, I have created, tested and delivered several programs that work together to address the inter-related problems faced by mothers and homeschoolers. These programs have (in the words of our community members) transformed their lives, their relationships and their families.

In the last five years I have pursued more focused learning beyond the books and small trainings here and there and really deep dive into a wide array of subjects to do my work better. I revisited some subjects of interest and tried to synthesize it all together.

Here is a brief list of some of skills I have acquired in the last two years. 

I am an ICF certified coach with a focus on Parent Education/Coaching. I have been studying and training under some amazing experts in the field of developmental psychology, neuroscience, child development etc with a special focus on attachment theory, educational psychology and interpersonal neurobiology. 

Alhamdulillah I have synthesized an amazing body of work that I have had the good fortune to explore and learn from the works of theorists and psychologists like Gordon Neufeld, Dr. Daniel Siegel, Robin Grille,  Aletha Soltzer, Dr. Gabor Mate, Thomas Gordon, Peter Gray, Steven Hayes, PhD, among many others. 

I have built skills through a wide variety of trainings from institutions and individuals like the Neufeld Institute, (NICABM) National Institute for Clinical Application of Behavioral Medicine, Aware Parent Consulting, Gordon Training International, Inner Child Healing/Journey by Dr. Grill, Acceptance and Commitment Therapy by Dr. Hayes, Institute of Child Psychology amongst several others.

What makes my work unique though, is how I have married this wide array of subject matter with Islamic Principles and Psychology. As a muslim who puts relationship with Allah central / fundamental to all success/progress, it was simply natural for me to see things through that lens. This is what separates my programs from any other resource out there. Also, I begin with a foundation rooted in Islam & its principles because it beautifully aligns with true human nature.

Instead of taking something secular/classical and trying to fit Islam and tarbiyah into it in an unnatural manner, I am naturally interested in applying the Prophetic Model. At its core, our framework is rooted in a LEADERSHIP model based on Islam and its fundamental values as understood by a muslim mother striving to fulfill her responsibility with all her imperfections and shortcomings (note: I am not a scholar)

Growth and learning whether on an individual or family or community level has some key determinants that are facilitated by Allah (swt). I pay attention to the natural design, fitrah, revelation, seerah and my understanding of the ultimate yearnings of a human being (Developmental Psychology as understood through Islamic values and Principles) placed by Allah (swt) to pick and choose from the ideas I have been learning.

I am slowly and gradually working my way through a number of in-depth studies on these subjects and hope to deepen my knowledge and understanding. Hopefully it will allow me to add more value and depth to the programs and make it easily accessible to our community of mothers. Inshallah

While this work is intense and I am still learning, I lean on the expertise of other homeschooling mothers as well in some of our programs: Homeschooling Simplified Program has a library of masterclasses with multiple contributors. Some of these sisters contribute to the program with coaching sessions as well.

These experts are homeschool moms from backgrounds as diverse as Speech and Language Therapy, Special Needs Education, Marriage and Family Therapy, Cultural Psychology, Linguistics, Educational Leadership & Research, Curriculum Development, Self Development, Coaching etc. We have veteran Educators / homeschoolers who help me bring the best of training, coaching and resources to mothers worldwide. Alhamdulillah

My hope is that any mother who is struggling alone finds the right kind of help, support and resources without having to waste those important foundational years that matter so much. I really hope that she does not unintentionally hurt her very important goals and relationships because of lack of knowledge, resources or skill. Inshallah. I do hope you find something that is truly beneficial to you and your family. 

All praise belongs to Allah (swt) alone. Indeed every good you see here is from Allah(swt). May Allah forgive me for the mistakes I make with this work. While I try my best to learn and share, I am aware of my flaws and shortcomings as a human being, may Allah purify it and rectify it by His infinite mercy and grace and bless us all through it and accept it. Ameen